Stop me if you have heard this one: Its the Christmas period, and you have gone back to your hometown to spend time with family over Christmas and your bored out your skull and you, along with every other kinky person you know, are trawling through hookup apps or thirst posting on twitter just to try and get a little escape.

Its the Christmas period thirst fest and it happens every year.

Now I don’t actually believe its just to do with sex and boredom, although they are big parts of it. I think a lot of it is missing being around people and spaces we can feel ourselves in. As much as things have gotten better, we, as queer people still find going back to hometowns a bit uncomfortable. Even with accepting families there’s still often an atmosphere of not fully being able to be yourself. So we reach out digitally to try and counter that.

Or maybe you really are just boredom-horny. I’m not psychic.

I would like to propose then that it might be a good idea to start planing for this period in advance. Scope out who’s local beforehand using location filters on the apps and start conversations now. You have more chance of meeting up with someone if you get to know them and make plans ahead of time rather than trying to score on the day.

This is also good for letting you get a feel of the people you might be meeting to see if they are a good fit and if they feel safe. Remember, as with all hookups with people you don’t know take precautions. let someone know the address your going to and what time you expect to be back. Trust any gut feelings you have about someone even if you cant explain why. If you don’t feel comfortable be clear and leave, and finally, I advise against putting yourself in vulnerable positions like bondage on the fist time playing with someone.

Planing in advance will also give you a chance to make up a reason for stepping out.

So good luck, and happy holidays.



Craig Is one of the founding members of the UK bootblack association, host of the Kinkyboys podcast and bondage enthusiast. When not Bootblacking for the London leather social he is geeking out playing DnD